👍 How do I know this? —-> I have new friends.
Men I never would have met otherwise, who live in my neighborhood and who showed up ready to share what’s going on for us. All it took was announcing a walk for men ONE TIME on a local social media thread.
My friend Ben’s wife saw my post on Reddit/UpperWestSide last November. 👀 She shared it with him. They had already been talking about this issue.
And while my measurement of success may seem simple (I have a new friend, several actually), the positive impacts men with robust circles of male friendships have on all those in our lives can not be understated. 👏
Lily O’Farrell recently published a comic strip on “The burden of Mankeeping” based in part of a paper co-authored by Angelica Puzio Ferrara, PhD. They explore the impact of socially isolated men on their partners’ well-being and on the well-being of society at large. Here is Lilly’s marvelous comic on Instagram.
And on the issue of #mankeeping, here’s a startling research finding about men who have a primary partner, but no circles of friendships. “In a six year study of 736 middle-aged men, attachment to a single person did not appear to lower the risk of heart attack and fatal coronary heart disease, whereas having close friendships did.” –Niobe Way, Deep Secrets, p. 9
Guys. Being lonely kills you. And why are so many of us alone?
Sadly, by late adolescence, our culture of masculinity trains boys into giving up their close friendships to prove they are not “little kids, girly, or gay” and their suicide rates become four times that of girls their age.
Source: Niobe Way‘s Deep Secrets, Rebels with a Cause
When men have a circle of authentic friendships:
1) We take a huge burden off our life partners.
2) We dramatically improve our mental health and longevity outcomes
3) We reactivate the universally human relational capacities for creating and caring for relationships we had as young boys (Per Judy Chu‘s research in her book When Boys Become Boys.)
Friendship is the holy grail. The rebirth of the crucial part we remember from boyhood that our culture of masculinity systemically breaks. This is what men want and are struggling to find. So, my co-founders and I created a simple mechanism for doing so. 😁
This is how connection, joy, belonging are mended, re-vitalized. Fixed. And lord knows, we men like to fix things so this is big.
ANY MAN CAN START OR JOIN A WALK. Visit: WalkingTalkingMen.org <—— 👍
Here’s the most important thing you’ll find our site:
—> Walking Talking Men is not therapy and we are not therapists. We are not seeking to sell services. We are simply sharing information about how we are creating community for men in our neighborhood. That’s it. ❤️
And what’s in it for me, you might ask? C’mon, you know the answer. The same thing that’s in it for you.
P. S. If you’re in NYC, reach out to join our walk.
WalkingTalkingmen.org 